Chapter 5: Being Stuck in Neutral
BPOV
The last few days have gone by like a whirlwind with all the wedding planning. I haven't spent any time with Edward since Sunday, when he dropped me off at Charlie's.
Monday was spent with Charlie getting his tux fitted, and then we went out to eat and watched a movie. I was happy to spend time with Charlie; he really was trying to be okay with the wedding. I knew he thought I was too young and he never forgave Edward for leaving me.
Edward came to spend the nights with me as usual, but I was just so tired and he seemed distant. We have not spoken about Saturday night. I still can't believe Saturday night happened; Edward actually touched me and really kissed me. Edward’s chaste kisses could drive me nuts, but his tongue made my world turn upside down. I thought we would move forward with our physical relationship, but for the last two days, Edward was once again back to his chaste kissing again. I didn't bring it up because I did not want to fight, but I wanted to move forward, and we seemed to be stuck in neutral.
The wedding is in twelve days. That means that I only have twelve days to get Edward to let his guard down. I needed to talk to Alice. I shook my head out of my deep thoughts and finished getting ready.
Edward would be here any minute. He’s taking me to pick up my new car, against my will. Yesterday Alice wore me down with the 'you’re going to be a Cullen’ speech and she had already seen the car I was going to be driving, so they ordered it. Apparently, I will be driving around forks in a blue Audi SUV.
I heard Edward pull up and walk to the door where he was waiting.
"Good morning love. You look stressed," he said with a chuckle as he leaned down to kiss me.
"I don't understand why I have to go; Alice already had the vision. The car has already been ordered. Can't they deliver it?" I whined.
"Bella, don't deny me this, you finally agreed to let me buy you a car. I want you there to sign the paperwork," he said against my lips and then pulled me in for an incredible mind-altering kiss. I pulled him closer, my body screaming, wanting to deepen the kiss to taste his tongue. Edward pulled away and took a deep breath.
"Let's get going Bella," he said and we walked to his car.
We were off to Seattle to the Audi dealership. For some unknown reason, buying me this car means the world to Edward. I’d do anything to make him happy, so I'm going with the flow. Alice and Jasper planned to meet us there so Alice could drive the Volvo back and Edward could ride with me. I took a deep breath and looked at Edward.
"Love, what are you thinking? It's driving me crazy."
I bit my lower lip and whispered, "Did you not enjoy Saturday night? Because I thought it was incredible and I thought we were moving forward." I took another deep breath. "You haven’t touched me or kissed me like that since. Why?"
I looked over and he had a tortured look on his face. This was not going to be good, but we were going to talk about this, because I have had it, I want to; no... I need to move forward.
"Edward?" I asked in a stern voice. "Answer me."
"Can we have this conversation later Bella?" he asked and rubbed the bridge of his nose, like he always did when he was in deep thought or stressed.
"No Edward, we are having this conversation now. I want to know why you have pulled back. I thought we were moving forward, or is it that you don't want me that way?" I was almost yelling at him. "We have to talk about this, or we can never go forward, it's like we are stuck in neutral." I took a deep breath and looked at him.
EPOV
I just sat and drove and let her get it all out. I secretly loved it when my sweet kitten became a tiger. Saturday night took me off-guard; Bella pleasured herself in my shower. The smell of her arousal, the steam and the way she looked in that blue silk tank top and shorts. I just lost it, and I let things go too far. God, but touching her, feeling her beautiful breast through that silk tank was by far the most intense moment in my vampire life. Kissing her like that, the taste of her tongue, her sweet hot mouth was incredible. I was just so lost in-the-moment, and I could have hurt her. She stopped her rant which brought me out of my thoughts. She wanted an answer to why I have pulled back; she wants to continue moving forward. I reached my hand over the council to lay it on her thigh to try and soothe her.
"Bella, you know I love you and I do want you, not your blood...your body," I said in a surprisingly shaky voice.
"Do you? " She asked in such a tortured tone; it broke my heart that she never saw herself clearly.
"Bella, we have had this conversation, do you not understand that I could hurt you?"
"Edward the fact that I'm alive is proof you would never, could never hurt me. I'm your singer and I'm still alive," she quipped, she had her arms crossed.
I was thanking everything above we were almost to the dealership. Her eyes met mine and they were on fire. "Tell me Edward, what's going to change in twelve days? Why, once we're married, do you automatically think you won’t hurt me? We need to move forward; I need us to move forward! I refuse to be a married virgin. Saturday night proved we can be together and explore a little, practice." The last word came out as a whisper.
"You have to know that I want nothing more than to make you mine, I just need more time."
BPOV
"More time?" I yelled. He must be kidding me.
"The wedding... is... in... twelve days! There is no more time Edward. I need, no wait, we need to move forward physically, after Saturday I can't go back," I said in a pleading tone.
"Please Edward, please," I whispered and the treacherous tears ran down my face.
I'm glad all we had to do was pick up my SUV and leave. My blood was boiling. I may ask Alice to drive back with me, to give me time to cool off. Edward just looked at me with a pained expression on his perfect face.
"Bella, we will talk more later, I promise. Don't cry love," he pleaded with me.
"Whatever Edward," I spat as we pulled into the dealership.
Alice and Jasper were already there, waiting for us as we walked in. My Audi SUV was ready. I was nervous, but deep down I was excited to be driving a new car. Edward just had to sign the paperwork. Alice looked at me with a pained look and winked, to let me know she had seen our fight. Then she nodded when she realized I was on the same page. I let out a long breath; Alice would ride home with me. I hoped she had a plan B.
APOV
Jasper and I were waiting for Edward and Bella, when the vision hit me. Bella and Edward fighting over proceeding forward, my brother was an idiot. Bella is going to want me to drive home with her, she needs time alone. Jasper made sure the SUV was ready for Bella. I filled Jasper in on what was happening between Bella and Edward, so he was ready to feel the many emotions coming from those two.
Edward and Bella both arrived with pained looks on their face. I nodded and winked at Bella telling her I had seen everything. I was singing horrible pop music to keep Edward out of my head.
Edward signed the paperwork and I told Jas he could leave. I could tell Bella was having a hard time telling Edward that she wanted me to ride with her back to Forks. So, I decided to tell him myself. "Edward, I'm going to ride with Bella back to Forks," I said in a don't-mess-with-me tone. I let him in my mind just so he could see this was far better.
"Is that okay with you love?" Edward asked her.
Bella just nodded and Edward bent down and kissed her forehead and then he whispered in her hair,
"Will I see you later?" Bella nodded again.
Bella and I were walking to her new car and she said, "Alice, I need to talk, you drive." And she threw me the keys.
"Okay Bella," I said as I skipped the car. We climbed in and we were off. "Alice you've seen everything, right?"
"Yes, I'm sorry but I did." I was sorry. I hated having these kinds of visions.
"Bella, honey, don’t worry. It will work out," I said as I patted the side of my head with my finger, "this is what you're going to do."
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