Chapter 2: The Talks
APOV
Once we finished the seating chart, Bella wasted no time to be with Edward. If vampires could get headaches, I surely would have one. Esme and I quickly cleaned up, and then I headed into the living room where Jas and Emmett were playing Xbox. I sat beside my Jas and started flipping through the latest issue of Elegant Bride. My mind began to wander to how excited I was to be planning this wedding for them. They have been through so much and they deserved their happy ending. The thought that Bella was going to be my sister forever made me so happy!
Jasper dropped his controller and stiffened, which brought me out of my thoughts. That's when all hell broke loose and we heard Bella yelling at Edward. Yes, Bella had a temper, and she was very stubborn, but it seemed out of character for her to be so mad. Like all relationships, theirs wasn't always perfect, but it was typically nothing more than just a battle of wills. I tried not to listen, but it was impossible. Suddenly, I froze as everything around me became cloudy, and a vision of Bella eating pizza and crying developed before me.
I shook my head, "Jasper what is she feeling?" I whispered.
"Anger, rejection, worthlessness...more anger." He paused, taking in the emotions coming from just above us. "She's on an emotional overload and making my head spin."
"Good thing Edward's patient," Emmett commented. "Bella has a temper, remember when she punched the wolf?" Emmett was doubling over in laughter.
"I’ll take Bella out for pizza; you two try to talk some sense into Edward."
"Yeah right. That's impossible. Mr. Stick-up-his-ass!" Emmett quipped sarcastically.
I stood up and waited for Bella to come down the stairs. When her feet hit the bottom step, I rushed over to her. She had a devastated look on her face, and she was crying.
"Bella, do you want to talk about it?" I asked, wiping away her tears. "You haven’t eaten dinner yet; would you like to go for pizza?"
She nodded.
Edward's dissatisfaction with my offer was clear as I heard his muted yelling. "Stop interfering. Let me talk to her once she's calmed down," he said firmly, yet so low that Bella never even registered he was speaking. I mentally told him to stay upstairs and if he tried to talk to her now, it would not end well. "We’ll be back later, and in the meantime Jasper and Emmett would like to talk to you," I snipped internally.
Grabbing my keys, and giving Edward the mental equivalent of a scowl, I turned to Bella and said "Let‘s go!"
We walked to the car without saying a word to each other. I decided to keep quiet considering that Bella was still sobbing. As soon as we hit the main road, out of Edward's range of sound, I finally spoke.
"What happened?"
She took a deep breath and said, "He doesn't want me."
"Oh Bella, Edward loves you very much. How could you possibly think..." She cut me short, "I know that. I mean physically, he doesn't want me."
"You know that's not true. He’s just afraid of hurting you," I said, reassuring her.
"Alice, he won‘t even kiss me properly, and when things just start to heat up a little, he always pushes me away. I can‘t take much more." She seemed devastated and heartbroken. I looked at her sympathetically; it was clear that what she needed was someone to just listen.
"I thought things would change after what happened in the meadow," she said in a quiet voice.
"The meadow?" I asked very confused.
"I thought you knew everything," she quipped.
"Only when I'm looking. I do believe in giving people some privacy," I laughed while she looked on incredulously. "'So, spill it Bella," I finally urged.
"It was just after the newborn fight..." her tone lowered and she trailed off, "and the kiss with Jacob. The next day Edward and I went to the meadow and talked everything through. He thought I was getting married to make everyone happy and decided to just call it all off. But then our conversation moved to kissing more intensely than ever before. He assured me he was still going to hold up his side of the compromise and ‘try’. I stopped him, told him that I loved him and that I wanted to wait until we were married." Pausing only to catch her breath, she continued, "I never thought stopping him would make us take a step back, I thought we would proceed physically. There's a whole world between kissing and sex, and I need to be a part of that world or I'm going to explode."
"It‘s okay, we can work on this," I reassured her. Her eyes were still brimming with tears but her heartbeat had slowed, and I sensed that she was relaxing.
By the time we pulled in at the pizzeria, all traces of tears were gone and in their place was pure anger.
I led Bella to the back. After we settled, Bella ordered.
"What brought on the argument tonight?" I asked.
"Well," she hesitated.
"It's okay, we’re practically sisters." I motioned for her to continue.
"We were kissing, and things began to really heat up. I was completely enjoying the moment, and like he always does, Edward went to push me away. In the process, he kind of touched my chest and I enjoyed it which freaked him out even more." She took a deep breath, her face turning red from new waves of anger, and continued. "He said if I married him, we would try on our wedding night. How is that going to be possible if he doesn't touch me?" She began crying. "I don't want to be married and still a virgin." "Oh, my brother can be such an idiot. You just have to push him a little," I said offering her a sneaky smile and eyebrow wiggle.
She let out a laugh and said "Alice, that's all I do is push and it gets me nowhere."
"Then we need a plan," I said excitedly.
"A plan?" she asked with a puzzled look on her face.
"Yes Bella, a plan." I went into deep thought. "A plan to wear my dear brother down. If it works, then you will do more than just ‘try’ on your wedding night." I could hardly contain myself; this was more exciting than planning the wedding. "Oh, we are going to have so much fun, and we need to shop."
"Wait! What? Shop?" she said exasperated.
"Yes Bella, shop. If you are going to seduce my brother, then we need to shop. We'll make it an all-girl day. Saturday." I took an unnecessary breath. "That gives me tomorrow to come up with an excuse, so Edward doesn't get suspicious. I'll have to keep my thoughts to myself."
"Alice, I don't know if this is a good idea," she whined. "He's already upset with me. I don't want to make it worse."
"Bella, what have I told you? Never bet against me. Now, are you ready to go back to the house and deal with Edward?"
"Yeah, I guess. I have to face him sometime. I can't believe I yelled at him and stormed out like that."
She took a deep breath. "I hope he is not too mad."
"Oh, he'll be fine. You guys needed a break," I said to put her at ease.
~~~ Meanwhile back at the Cullen house ~~~
EPOV
She stormed past me and out the door, and all I could do was stand there, immobile. She’s never yelled at me and it honestly stung. It was terrifying not to know what she was thinking, and my only recourse was to search everyone's thoughts to see her reaction. Emmett's thoughts told me I had been a complete ass, typical. Jasper was worried about Bella. And Alice just wanted to talk to Bella and take her to calm down. The details I needed, the facts that would be helpful, Alice was cleverly blocking.
"You are not taking her anywhere, I have to talk to her," I demanded in a tone below Bella's hearing capability.
Alice mentally yelled at me, warning me that if I talked to Bella right now, it would not end well. They would be back in a while and I could seize the opportunity then. I took a deep breath to try to calm myself.
What was I going to do? Bella was right about everything. If I am afraid to touch her, our honeymoon isn't going to exactly go the way she wants. There was a knock at my bedroom door that brought me out of my thoughts.
"Go away!" I yelled at the love-guru duo.
"No can do bro," Emmett said while barging into my room. "My little sis is very pissed and you're a complete ass."
"Edward, I have never felt so many emotions coming from her before, the most intense emotion was worthlessness." Jasper said glaring at me, assaulting me with the simple truth.
I rubbed the bridge of my nose and said, "I don't know what to do? I'm truly afraid I am going to hurt her. My control is very weak." I crossed the room and stared out the wall of windows, questioning every decision I had made.
"She has to know how much I want her, and not just her blood, her body," I said for my benefit more than theirs.
"Edward, I don't think she does," Jasper said.
"Look Eddie, you said you would try on your wedding night, right?" I nodded and Emmett continued.
"What's going to change in three weeks bro?"
"If anyone can do this, it’s you. The fact you have not killed her yet is incredible." Jasper looked at me and continued. "It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You worked on resisting her blood slowly and you can work on being physical slowly. There is a line of balance, and you have to find it."
"He has a point bro. You’re barely on first base and in three weeks you'll want to slide home," Emmett laughed.
I just shook my head at my childish brother. "I'm going for a quick hunt to clear my head and build my strength. I will be back before Bella and Alice return. I have some things to think about."
I was out the window and into the woods before they could protest. It didn't take me long to find two deer and once my thirst had been satisfied I plopped on the first rock I found and sat down to think about the events of the evening. I wondered if Jasper and Emmett were right? Just a few days ago I was ready to take her in our meadow and now I am pulling back. It took a while to desensitize myself from the smell of her blood, and now she still smells fantastic to me, but I don't think of her as a food source. I came to the conclusion that I could stretch my boundaries a little. I didn't have enough time to move gradually; I had to keep my promise and for the first time in a long time, I felt the pressure of time. I resolved to act immediately and would talk to Bella once she returned. I moved toward the house, flying through my window to wait for Bella to return.
I was overcome with joy once I heard Alice's car coming up the drive. It had only been two hours, but I missed Bella like it had been forever. I listened as they walked into the house, Bella's footsteps distinct on the wood floor. Alice ran to Jasper's arms, and Bella walked up the stairs. Her heartbeat pounded with hesitation. She stopped just outside my door and waited before knocking.
"Come in Love, you know you don't have to knock it’s your room too," I said, looking into her big brown eyes.
"Edward, I'm sorry I ran out," she quietly apologized.
I took a few steps, closing the distance between us, wrapped my arms around her and took my time inhaling her incredible scent. "I'm sorry too, my love. I missed you."
She rested her head on my chest and sighed in contentment. Bella belonged in my arms as much as the stars belonged in the night sky.
"I think you better get home. It's getting late and Charlie will wonder where you are."
"I suppose you're right," she said without moving her head. "Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked.
"Yes, my love," I said kissing her forehead.
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